We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How's work?
Spinning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize