you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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