OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
