Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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