kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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