one two three fourrrrnication!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
