So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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