i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
