I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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