Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize