yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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