I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
