Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
