Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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