your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
