what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
