Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
