Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
