Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
