shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
