How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
