11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
