Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
