Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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