if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
