He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
