his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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