no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
