Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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