sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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