Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
