More tranny stories later!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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