my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
