Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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