i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
