In the future we'll all be gay
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
