Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
