Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
