So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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