Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
