You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
