Heybabeimwearingurpanties
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
