Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
