Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
