in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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