she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
