If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
