That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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