sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
