He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
