almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
