I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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