I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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