She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
