Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She's just so happy...and so naked.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
