i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
