Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
