I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
