Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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