I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
